An unwitting companion

The wife hand-feeds him, cuddles him, plays with him, while you dare not touch him.

Now, I'm not a jealous husband. But when someone else “kisses” your wife awake every morning and is already in bed with her before you get there at night, it’s usually a matter of concern. Especially when she coos sweet nothings to him, while the nags – no matter however playful – are reserved for you.

Your silence sets her off, but he can get away with murder. And he has, the casualties being several earphones, soft toys, and a few things she has not dared tell you, but you have figured out. She hand-feeds him, cuddles him, plays with him and whatnot, while you dare not touch him. Her scolds are absolutely okay, but god save you if you raise your voice at him!

He seems to have the best life right now. Paraphrasing the promotional line from the Tom Cruise-starrer “Edge of Tomorrow”, all he does is “Eat. Sleep. Repeat.” – with the occasional mischief and playful gambolling thrown in. Oh, and who can forget the constant propensity to “lovingly” bite, and the pleading mewls when his efforts are thwarted.

And boy, does he seem to grow! But that’s a taboo subject in front of the wife. Speak of it, and be immediately admonished for putting an unwitting jinx on that thing that insists on following her everywhere, sometimes even to the bathroom!
So why am I putting up with all of this? For starters, he is one of the best outlets for stress I have. Come back at night to someone waiting to spend time with you, and you will know. The constant company as you wind down for the day is exactly what you need after leaving the war-room of an office.

Also, after years of leading a lifestyle that can swing anywhere between bohemian and hobo, the opportunity to mollycoddle a loved one – be it keeping a responsible eye on them so they don't go out, and having a mini heart attack when they do, or comforting them all the way to the hospital where they are due for their shots – is a responsibility that the introverts among us cherish.

And that’s not to mention all the bonding opportunities you and your wife get due to this one little being. Sure, the wife is the one who has to hand-feed him because he doesn’t like some of the food he is given, but joining her in the chore and clearing away the food he spits out does give one a sense of pride.

To sum it all up, and the wife concurs on this one, I am pretty happy with this new cat we have, and anyone wishing to harm him will be made as extinct as a Dodo. Did I mention that that’s our feline's name?