We 'horny' Indians

Lord! What is it with honking and us Indians? From the wee hours of the morning to the dead hours of the night, the sounds of vehicle horns pervade the air, crashing against our eardrums like the unrelenting waves on the shore. Never stopping, an endless flow of noise and cacophony.

‘Are we Indians born with the need to honk in our blood?’ Do our genes carry that mutation — passed on from the time the first Indian sat behind a wheel? Or it is something that is imbibed in us from our toddler days; maybe with the use of squeezy toys or some such?

Recently, after going through a day with all the clamour and din on her first visit to Bangalore, a foreign visitor did ask my colleagues and I this question. And the answers were many.

We toot for anything and everything! Even before the light turns green, we commence honking, prodding those in front to start moving. When the light is turning red, we beep in frustration that those in front have not moved fast enough for us to beat the light. We sound the horn when there is traffic all over the road and even when the roads are empty.

We honk in annoyance when someone suddenly cuts in front of us and honk back when the person whom we cut beeps furiously at us.

Some honk because they are bored behind the wheel with nothing to do. Imagine, when the traffic is moving at 11 kmph (or whatever average speed Bengaluru boasts of now), honking could be a good way to pass time. Get close to that unsuspecting two-wheeler rider and then let loose with a loud blast! Makes them jump sometimes and you get a laugh or two.

And then there are others who honk for no other reason other than they like to honk. In fact, I noticed a car once where the horn used to sound regularly every minute or so. I thought it might be a new app that allows the car horn to blare recurrently!

Folks sometimes honk to inform vehicles ahead that they are behind or to warn pedestrians not to cross the road. This makes me wonder, what happened to those God-given eyes and the driving training we all go through? Doesn’t anyone use their driving mirrors any longer?

We honk to tell others to get out of the way. We honk to warn people we are coming through — in the wrong lane, on the wrong side of the road or even on the pavement.

The reasons for honking are myriad. Suffice it to say that we ‘horny’ Indians have become experts at honking…rather than driving.