Treading a tightrope cautiously

Painful Truth

Some people when faced with what to do after witnessing something they shouldn't have, prefer to take the stance that it isn’t their business and they’re not getting involved. Others rush in and create mayhem by revealing very sensitive information in an insensitive way.

“There are a number of things to consider when making the choice to reveal this type of information,” says Smitha Rao, a relationship expert. “What sort of relationship does the couple share? Are they newly dating or in a monogamous commitment? You also need to take into account your relationship with your friend? Whether there have been past conflicts between you or even a competitive element to your friendship?”

“I would prefer not to get involved in a relationship between two people. I learnt the lesson the hard way when I almost lost my best friend because I proffered my opinion on something that was between the two of them. It’s hard to take a call in a hypothetical situation but it’s better to stay away as far as possible and let them discover things about each other on their own,” says Jude Koshy.

“You also need to factor in how your friend is likely to react to such information based on your existing knowledge of them. How would you want the situation to be handled if the circumstances were reverse and your friend was holding this information about your mate?” advises Smitha.

Priya Mendens, a working professional feels honesty is definitely called for even if it puts the friendship on the line.  “Most women resist the thought that their partner could be unfaithful to them,” she says. “I know from past experience and I have got burnt. But I will still go ahead and tell. What they then decide to do with the information later is their problem,” she adds.

“It all depends on how close a friend is. A really close friend deserves to know the truth, however painful. With friends, who are not that close, I would stay away and mind my own business,” says Sneha Menon, a student.

“First, make sure you are right and have actual knowledge that something is going on. Do not trust anything you get second-hand. Find actual evidence or say nothing. Everyone makes mistakes but for the sake of your friendship, you cannot afford to make even one when it comes to a situation like this,” says Roopa Colaco, an H R professional adding “if the couple were married, I would probably stay quiet.  But if they were just dating then I would tell if I were really close to one of them.”