'The Meg' review: Seafood anyone?

Rating: 2 stars (out of 5)

Language: English (U/A)

Director: Jon Turteltaub

Cast: Jason Statham, Bingbing Li, Rainn Wilson, CGI Shark

What might we discover in an untouched part of the world? Bio-luminescent fish, a giant squid, the mighty, pre-historic shark Megalodon and, of course, Jason Statham.

A marine biology lab off the Chinese coast, funded by a man in sneakers, has made a new finding: the seabed is, in fact, a gas cloud and a whole new world lives beneath it.

A well-equiped team plunges to explore it but is caught and attacked by the Meg(alodon).

Who should rescue them but Jonas (Jason Statham), who once even had a blind date with The Meg.

Director Jon Turteltaub tries to re-imagine jaws but in the process forgets to add enough teeth, and instead broths a fish soup.

The film uses the cliches of every mega-monster-versus-man film. Plus, there's even a scene with a half-naked, towel-covered, just-took-a-shower Jason Statham for those of you who may care.

The film has many routine scenes, such as when the big, bad shark tries to make a meal (nay, a buffet!) out of a beachful of people at Sanya bay. And the mean machine that it is, it also feasts on the humble whales that made the lab its home.

But there are interesting moments! Especially when Jason is tied to a hull and the ship is pulling him away with the shark on his tail, almost making him the bait.

The film is a one-man show with Jason holding it up. It is a neat entertainer with death, love, action, romance, comedy, cuteness and all the good flavours sprinkled on what (but alas!) is yesterday's fish.