<p>Every Friendship Day, we should pay tribute to the wise old Greek philosopher Plato, because his concept of friendship is the purest, most rewarding of all.</p>.<p>Yes, it’s called a platonic friendship. An uncomplicated love for another that transcends romance and carnal attraction, and a comfortable soulmate closeness between genders. Without sex getting in the way.</p>.<p>If you loved watching the ultimate friendship serial, Friends — like those watching it 10 billion times around the world, amongst the most popular shows of all time — you’ll agree on the element that made it so engaging: we were always waiting to see when friendships would turn from platonic to romantic. Between Ross and Rachel. Chandler and Monica. Suddenly, Rachel and Joey. Back to Ross and Rachel. With Phoebe, the amused observer and sometimes abettor. We’ve experienced these light-hearted group dynamics with our own college gang or social circle, which is what makes it all so relatable.</p>.<p>Yet in the long run, some friendships are fraught with complications. I read about a recent gender research study to see how different sexes view platonic bonds. Males, apparently more than females, find this harder to sustain, with ‘romantic desire’ surfacing some day. Such men also overestimate signs of mutual attraction, and are likely to complicate things with sexual leanings... Women, however, sustain platonic friendships, even after the guy gets hitched to someone else. But the woman he gets hitched to is likely to be tormented with a cloud of suspicion, never comfortable with a partner continuing this previous intimate bond.</p>.<p>The clichéd triangle of endless TV dramas we’ve seen! And where there is friendship, there is the threat of a break-up. Interestingly, gender watchers say that a romantic or marital split is easier to get over than a rift in a sibling-like platonic friendship, especially of the same sex.</p>.<p>Divorce or a live-in couple breaking up can be dealt with, with angry words, or mutual consent, or even legal settlements, and help one move on… But old friendships that suffer from geographical distance, or just a prolonged silence after a misunderstanding, with one party ghosting the other, leave one confused and upset, far longer. The closure isn’t as defined as it is in a divorce or dating liaison, so the grief can feel more intense.</p>.<p>Meanwhile, Friendship Day is less pressure on us all than, say, Valentine’s Day. It’s a reminder of all the bonds we’ve made and kept, from school to our current apartment block; a love that Plato would approve of. And instead of some gooey, clichéd greetings taken off Pinterest, here are some thoughts that you may identify with to mark the day:</p>.<p>l →You love your friends. Because they hate the same stuff as you do.</p>.<p>l → Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.</p>.<p>l→ A good friend is someone who will always pick you up after you fall. But only after she finishes laughing.</p>.<p>l→ And the ultimate one, for these modern times… Friends will mourn when you are gone. But only a best friend will come and clean up your computer history immediately after you die.</p>.<p><em>(He Said/She Said is a monthly column on gender issues — funny side up. Reach the author at indubee8@yahoo.co.in.)</em></p>
<p>Every Friendship Day, we should pay tribute to the wise old Greek philosopher Plato, because his concept of friendship is the purest, most rewarding of all.</p>.<p>Yes, it’s called a platonic friendship. An uncomplicated love for another that transcends romance and carnal attraction, and a comfortable soulmate closeness between genders. Without sex getting in the way.</p>.<p>If you loved watching the ultimate friendship serial, Friends — like those watching it 10 billion times around the world, amongst the most popular shows of all time — you’ll agree on the element that made it so engaging: we were always waiting to see when friendships would turn from platonic to romantic. Between Ross and Rachel. Chandler and Monica. Suddenly, Rachel and Joey. Back to Ross and Rachel. With Phoebe, the amused observer and sometimes abettor. We’ve experienced these light-hearted group dynamics with our own college gang or social circle, which is what makes it all so relatable.</p>.<p>Yet in the long run, some friendships are fraught with complications. I read about a recent gender research study to see how different sexes view platonic bonds. Males, apparently more than females, find this harder to sustain, with ‘romantic desire’ surfacing some day. Such men also overestimate signs of mutual attraction, and are likely to complicate things with sexual leanings... Women, however, sustain platonic friendships, even after the guy gets hitched to someone else. But the woman he gets hitched to is likely to be tormented with a cloud of suspicion, never comfortable with a partner continuing this previous intimate bond.</p>.<p>The clichéd triangle of endless TV dramas we’ve seen! And where there is friendship, there is the threat of a break-up. Interestingly, gender watchers say that a romantic or marital split is easier to get over than a rift in a sibling-like platonic friendship, especially of the same sex.</p>.<p>Divorce or a live-in couple breaking up can be dealt with, with angry words, or mutual consent, or even legal settlements, and help one move on… But old friendships that suffer from geographical distance, or just a prolonged silence after a misunderstanding, with one party ghosting the other, leave one confused and upset, far longer. The closure isn’t as defined as it is in a divorce or dating liaison, so the grief can feel more intense.</p>.<p>Meanwhile, Friendship Day is less pressure on us all than, say, Valentine’s Day. It’s a reminder of all the bonds we’ve made and kept, from school to our current apartment block; a love that Plato would approve of. And instead of some gooey, clichéd greetings taken off Pinterest, here are some thoughts that you may identify with to mark the day:</p>.<p>l →You love your friends. Because they hate the same stuff as you do.</p>.<p>l → Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.</p>.<p>l→ A good friend is someone who will always pick you up after you fall. But only after she finishes laughing.</p>.<p>l→ And the ultimate one, for these modern times… Friends will mourn when you are gone. But only a best friend will come and clean up your computer history immediately after you die.</p>.<p><em>(He Said/She Said is a monthly column on gender issues — funny side up. Reach the author at indubee8@yahoo.co.in.)</em></p>