No kiddin' about this

It is almost a revelation to note that in our modern, cyber-traipsed world, even primary and middle school children have more than an inkling of what marriage entails. As an English teacher, I have noticed that youngsters have a great general awareness and street smartness.

Once, I was accosted by the rather impudent and hubristic behaviour of one of my Std VIII students to whom I was teaching the play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. Finally, unable to contain my indignation, I shouted at the rather capricious Ankit, “What is your problem in life?”

Ankit’s best friend, Yash, came to his rescue with the rejoinder, “Ma’am, can I answer?” “Sure, Yash,” I replied, hoping that he would analyse and demystify his friend’s quirky behaviour. Then, Yash queried, “Ma’am, can I reply in the form of a poem?” “Sure, Yash,” I said again, hoping that he would spill the beans soon enough.

“Ma’am, Ankit’s problem in life is that he does not have a wife!” This impulsive rhyming and on-the-spot reply from a far-from-innocent 13-year-old had the entire class in splits!
This comment set me off on the numerous instances that ensue when we, English teachers, have to teach teenage boys and girls about stories, plays and dramas where romantic love, relationships and marriage form an integral and element of the storyline. I am amazed how advanced students are on this evergreen topic, which always provides much grist for the gossip mills.

 In retrospect, I think that during our school days most of us were self-consciously naïve and ignorant, and considered topics on romantic love taboo and out of our territory bounds.

This know-it-all attitude may be due to the social-networking sites and the electronic media where modernisation and westernisation are disseminated to youngsters. Once, I was teaching Std VI students a lesson in English where there was a question as to what students would want their future spouses to be like. This set the immature girls into a tizzy of giggling while the boys, strangely enough, seemed alert and all ears! I turned to Uday, a resourceful boy with brains and wit.

He replied, “Ma’am, I want my future wife to be like the moon.” Impressed by his novel reply, I asked, “Oh, is it because you want your future wife to be beautiful and mysterious like the moon?” for which he shot back, “No, I want her to be like the moon because I want her to come in the night and go in the morning.” This reply had me flummoxed! Who says that 11-year-olds aren’t glib, smart and conniving?
However, the story of all stories to clinch the essence of humour in marriage goes as follows: It seems the famous British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was not only an astute politician but also the winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature and a proficient artist. He was known for his  acerbic wit and apt repartees.

Once, a rather cantankerous, cynical and grouchy old lady came to him and said, “If I were your wife, I would give you poison,” for which Winston Churchill shot back defiantly, “If you were my wife, I would drink it!”