Dowry’s cruel hold on marriage

Recently, a young woman in Greater Noida, Uttar Pradesh, was burnt alive over dowry. Her six-year-old son witnessed the ghastly crime. Only a few days earlier in Ghaziabad, another woman was harassed despite her parents having spent Rs 75 lakh on her wedding. She was not only pressured for more money but also subjected to body shaming. She chose to resist and approached the police.

India takes pride in its achievements—space missions, digital start-ups, and global recognition. But beneath this veneer of modernity persists an old cruelty: dowry. Despite decades of progress, this practice continues to corrode our social fabric. 

Dowry, once considered streedhan —a daughter’s security— has in many cases degenerated into extortion.

The Ghaziabad case illustrates this well: despite a lavish wedding, demands continued. Many such cases of dowry-related violence against women go unreported and receive little media coverage. Greed, it seems, has no ceiling – cars, flats, foreign trips, gold, gadgets, the list is endless. 

The constant pressure of dowry demands and accompanying humiliation can take a heavy toll on a woman’s mental health and wellbeing. The abuse she suffers—emotional, verbal and sometimes physical—often remains hidden from outsiders. Its corrosive effects accumulate over time, and when murder occurs, it is usually the final stage in a long cycle of violence. Without access to effective legal and societal remedies, victims remain vulnerable.

According to a July 2025 media report, the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) recorded an average of 7,000 dowry deaths annually between 2017 and 2022 — nearly 42,000 women in five years.

Equally shocking is our silence. It is an endorsement. Every unchallenged dowry death gives perpetrators a free pass — a signal that society will forgive, forget, and move on. Dowry is not a fading custom; it thrives at the very core of what we call respectable society. 

Dowry-related violence reflects a toxic blend of patriarchy, consumerism, and status obsession. Even educated, urban households that espouse gender equality may still participate in this practice. Weddings, especially destination weddings, have become platforms for displaying wealth -- pressure magnified by social media. Young couples begin married life burdened with financial expectations rather than trust. What should be sacred is reduced to transaction.

This raises a blunt question: is marriage itself under threat in India? Not because of live-in relationships, Western influences, or women’s independence—as some argue. But because of the rot within. Practices like dowry undermine trust, love, and respect – the very foundations of marriage.

For many educated and self-reliant young women today, marriage remains the unspoken subtext — no matter what they achieve, they are still expected to marry. Parents should not force their daughters to marry if they wish to continue studying or building their careers.

Can this culture be changed? Only through action on several fronts. Laws exist, but enforcement is weak. Delays in policing, judicial backlogs, and flawed investigations allow offenders to slip away. Legal reform must be reinforced by social reform.

Families must reject dowry outright – both giving and taking. Religious leaders and community elders should denounce it unequivocally. Citizens’ groups need to mobilise with the same energy they show for other causes. Politicians and public figures can use their platforms to spread the message and condemn the scourge of dowry. For instance, in 2022, actor Akshay Kumar described dowry as a form
of extortion and a social curse that continues to plague
our society. 

Most importantly, boys must be raised differently. Gender equality should be instilled from childhood, not taught as an afterthought in adulthood. Unless young men see marriage as a partnership of equals, dowry will outlast every law and campaign.

The murder in Greater Noida is not just one woman’s tragedy; it is a mirror to our collective failure. As a civilised society, we need to confront the mindset of greed, silence, and complicity, lest dowry deaths continue to find a place in the headlines. The institution of marriage risks being reduced to a ledger marked by greed and loss.

(The writer is a Delhi-based journalist)