Single on Valentine’s Day? Embrace it

The barrage of lovey-dovey posts can be overwhelming. Here are some ways to survive the day and also have fun

There is no escaping the onslaught of mushy posts and cheesy ads that have now become a hallmark of Valentine’s Day. A ubiquitous phenomenon in the online and offline world, this excessive commercialisation of romance also serves to make single people feel inadequate and unloved.

If you are not careful, this heavy heart could also lead you to some regrettable decisions — like texting an ex or settling for someone who is not compatible with you, just because you don’t want to be alone on this day.

Dr Roshan Jain, sr consultant psychiatrist, Apollo Hospitals, says that constant reminders of Valentine’s day can have a negative impact on the psyche of singles, even those who might not be looking for a relationship. “People have a natural inborn desire to have meaningful attachments; everybody wants a romantic relationship. If that doesn’t happen, you’re bound to feel rejected, dejected, and in some cases, depressed.”

So what can one do about it? Nothing, he says with a laugh. “Feeling melancholy is the principle premise for creating poetry, music and art. It might be a good day to start something you always wanted to do. On a serious note, if these ads and posts are affecting you a lot, get off social media. Nothing will happen if you take a break from the online world. The fear of missing out that you feel has been inculcated by social media itself. Get away from it or become less engaged for a week or so and half your problems will be solved. The other half will be resolved when you become happy and content with who you are,” he says.

Don’t let peer pressure get to you

The hype around V-Day is mostly driven by youngsters, who take this western concept very seriously and go out of their way to express their love to their partners. While it sounds cute, some of them can also be pressurised into making choices they might regret later. This includes indulging in sexual acts, as a way to ‘profess their love on this special day’.

“While adults might use this opportunity to profess their love to their partner and set the wedding date, youngsters see this as a chance to go to the next stage in their relationship; and for many of them, that means getting physical. Even those who are not comfortable with the idea might give in, because they have a need to be accepted,” says Shamantha K, counselling psychologist, Fortis Hospitals, Cunningham Road.

She points out that parents can use this day to educate their children about dating and safe sex. “Keep in mind that you shouldn’t seem like you’re invading their privacy or are doubting them. Doing so can strain your relationship. Reassurance is key,” she adds.

Singles, you can enjoy this day too!

While it might seem exclusively targeted at couples, Valentine’s Day is actually about love in its myriad forms. That includes love for your friends, family and even yourself. Metrolife lists out a few ways in which you can make the most of this

Send love notes to your friends- Why not? They are the ones who have always been by your side and this is as good a day as any other to let them know that you love them. In fact, in Estonia and Finland, February 14 is Friend’s Day, a celebration of platonic love.

Organise a singles’ dinner - Friends, colleagues, cousins, neighbours; anyone who is single can be invited to this celebration of being alone and loving it.

Catch a movie - There are a couple of good releases and it also happens to be a Friday so why not?

Buy something special for yourself - It can be that expensive lipstick, a gaming accessory, a pair of high heels, the latest thriller or whatever will make you happy.

Buy a gift for your parents - Nothing releases the happy hormones like seeing your parents smile. If you feel up to it, you can even cook something for them. Anyway, they love you enough to eat whatever you serve!

Pamper yourself - Dim the lights, put on some good music, enjoy a little bubble bath and round of the day with some ice cream or wine.

Explore a new neighborhood - Head to an area of town that you aren’t too familiar with.

Send a note/letter to your crush - If you really want to do something exciting and dangerous, we recommend this. Remember the rules - keep the language civil, be polite and don’t come across as a creep. You can keep it anonymous or reveal yourself but be prepared to accept a ‘no’ graciously.