Refrain from retaliating

One of the hallmarks of many a religious scripture and many a teaching of saintly persons is to never retaliate in a vengeful `tit for tat’ stance.

This implies that when someone does a wrong, one should not be up in arms against that person with the most vitriolic of expletives ready to erupt from one’s lips.

One should try as far as possible to be always cool and collected, and not get heated up and lash out rude arguments, which can prove to be counter-productive. One should try not to fly off the handle and voice impulsive and abusive threats. For, if one does lose one’s temper and retaliates instinctively, it could spew a lot of bad blood.

If one were to make a speech when one is all keyed up and angry, it could well turn out to be a speech one will remember life-long for not exactly sanguine reasons.

One may argue that curtailing and curbing angry retorts is easier said than done. One should try the following practical measures to defuse angry situations: Count up to five slowly or drink a glass of water slowly.

Once a person has cooled down, s/he should critically analyse the situation and perhaps the reasons why the criticism was levelled against her/him in the first place. The person should discern shortcomings and weaknesses and try to ameliorate them.

It is heartening to note that great religious leaders have not only refrained from retaliating but have also not had an ounce of antagonism or hatred harboured against the perpetrator.

On the other hand, they have exuded forgiveness and goodwill. One can recall the words of Jesus Christ: “If someone slaps you on one cheek, show the other cheek as well.”

The above words of Jesus Christ have had a powerful, profound and intense effect on one of the greatest men of the 20th Century, namely Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi never nursed any ill feeling or grouse even against those who had wronged, hurt and pained him.

In the Chauri-Chaura episode of 1942, several policemen of the British regimen were burnt to death in retaliation for a wrong committed by the British.

Gandhi was grief-stricken and morose for days because of the tragedy augured to the families of the policemen who were burnt alive.

When the freedom fighters tried to pacify Gandhi saying that it was only “an eye for an eye”, Gandhi shot back in his characteristic style: “An eye for an eye will only succeed in making the whole world blind.”

Understandably, lay persons, like you and me, with our weaknesses and fallibilities, will probably not be able to possess the purity, sacredness and greatness of a Jesus Christ or a Mahatma Gandhi nor would we ever be able to even hold a candle to them.

Though one may not be able to reach such high levels of saintliness and perfection, it is in one’s purview and power to try as far as possible not to be too retaliatory or vengeful in nature, for, remember: “Everything that goes around, comes around, too”.

Instead, one should use the practical skill of being ameliorative by benefiting from every bit of criticism so that one can indeed emerge as pure, unsullied and beautiful human beings with a mission and purpose.