Have the cake and eat it too!

In one of her articles, an eminent author weighed the pros and cons of the schedule she had maintained all through her life. She concluded that her schedule had wired her so taut that relaxation seemed anathema to her, even when the body was failing in her twilight years. I let my mind wander back to the period when I tried to manage a career, household, and the pursuit of higher education. When I had back-breaking work at the office I would relax with my kids in the evening, and afterwards, spend time on a new skill like nib-painting or net-embroidery. When my higher degree exams neared I would slog, as I would have had no time to study, having been engaged with office work and the family. On any given day I would take time off to watch a movie with my ageing mother, or plan an outing with my kids. I always believed that mismatch between demand by the mind and the capacity of the body to meet this demand resulted in either physical or mental ailments.

During my early life, I realised that I never studied to the point of tottering under the burden. I spent ample time tending to my mother’s informal garden and splashing about in the makeshift pond. I have pleasant memories of cosying up with a novel for hours. My mother arranged for music and embroidery classes but never sought quick results. When sorrow engulfed our family my teen mind found peace in pencil sketching. My parents were silently aware of my achievements, achieved without any push. Even though my father did not get to see my excellence in the board exams, I am sure that he would have blessed me from above. I am grateful that my parents did not exert pressure on me to excel or compare me with others.

I followed the same example with my daughters, allowing them space and time to indulge in their hobbies along with studies. My daughter would join me to watch a movie on TV just days before her engineering exam and I would not chide her. Like me, she knew how to avoid overburdening herself. Nothing is costlier than one’s health and peace of mind, and no amount of money can buy the two. I walked this path myself and decided to quit a lucrative job, even though the higher rungs on the ladder of promotion were within my reach. I decided my job was not my passion after all.

There are days when I have let time slip by just holding on to a novel, sorting stuff or watching my favourite movie or show. I am none the worse for it. Try it.