Working around acronyms

The corporate world talks in shorthand, challenging the uninitiated

When I started working in the corporate world, I had to learn a lot of different things, but none was more challenging than what can be termed the company lingo—simply put, the various acronyms.

Companies are full of acronyms that they take pride in using and flaunting. The hallmark of a seasoned manager, as opposed to the novice who is three days old in the company, is the ease with which the individual carries on conversation almost entirely in shorthand, as it were, inventing and introducing new acronyms along the way.

My first encounter was during my orientation session, where the company’s mission statement (without which no company is considered complete) was displayed in bold letters on the screen: DELIVER. I was confused—in fact, baffled—at what we were expected to deliver. After much animated discussion amongst the newcomers as to what this could mean, the mystery was solved when the next slide revealed the expansion: Drive, Energy, Listen, Innovate, Validate, Exemplify, and Review. I naively asked my manager what the words meant or how they were related, to which he responded, “Just learn to use the acronym now and then”, adding to my uncertainty and intrigue.

I soon found out that veterans in the company often spoke only in acronyms, making it feel like we were in a Hollywood movie where detectives were passing on coded messages amongst themselves. I was clearly an outsider struggling to get on board, desperately wanting to fit in and
belong.

Feeling very lost, I headed to the break room to pick up a cup of coffee to recharge my brain, and I walked into a fascinating conversation between two senior executives:

Executive 1: Hi, how is it going? (Sorry, no acronyms in this greeting.) Executive-2: Busy, pal. I’m trying to get this RFP (Request for proposal) done by EOD (End of day); just an FYI (For your information).

Executive 1: I know the feeling. The CIO (Chief Information Officer) told me TYT (take your time), but in no time turned around and asked me to complete the API (Application Program Interface) document ASAP (as soon as possible), definitely by COB (close of business).

Executuve-2: Honestly, IMO (in my opinion), these guys are nuts and seriously suffer from FOMO (Fear of missing out). That is why I frequently WFH (work from home) and put out an OOO (out of office) notification. I try to FUTR (fly under the radar).

I decided that there was no time to waste on mundane things like coffee while I had so much to learn and headed to my next TOH (task on hand).