Of being gay and happy

Swalpa Connect Maadi

Dear Editor,  

I am thinking we are becoming one very sad country. All the time worrying and tensioning about prices and sensex and police deadlines…we are forgetting to laugh and be gay. That is why I am thinking something must be done about all the long faces talking about the price of tur dal and onions. Government has to pass a law telling everyone it is okay to be gay.

Then I am reading in your esteem newspaper that such one Bill has been passed by honourable Prime Minister (who is looking to be very gay in his pictures). I am very delightful.

This is my principle in life. Since I am born. I am laughing always. There is no rice in the house,I am laughing. My daughter running away with the post man, I am laughing. My roof leaking in rain, I am still laughing. But my Missus very different.

Everytime I am laughing, she is raising chappati roller and shouting saying Somberee Katt. Opposite only. Crying complaining, calling me names. Is it crime to be gay? Also, my mother-in-law who is living  too long. Today this pain, tomorrow that pain. I am thinking how to make them happy. Then by very good luck and Lord Blessings, Government telling people it is alright not to hide in closet to feel gay. It’s not crime.

What we are needing as a nation is a population of ten billion gay people. Men, women and children. Better to start young. Teach gayness in primary schools. First train the teachers to encourage and promote gayness. Maybe one Minister for Gayness. Everyone must laugh compulsory. Not only at sardar jokes but everything.People to sing and dance and break jokes. Laughing very good for health and heart. One laugh a day keeping doctor away..but  not recommended if husband is doctor… ha ha.ha. Hope you are getting the joke?

So I am saying to Missus, don’t want your sour pulli face anymore. Government is passing bill in Parliament to make more people gay. We are wanting more Khushi and less gum. But what to do. Some people objecting to this. Against religion, they are saying. To laugh and be gay against what religion?

They are also saying gay people getting aid. Which brings me to the main point. That is what is making me very angry. Gay people getting support from everywhere and other people are getting jealous. But why I am not getting support? I am gay from when I am born. Or is aid only for relatives of ministers? I am non-stop making fun, breaking jokes, making merriment. Why I am not getting aid I want to know.

For help I have to apply? Fill form in triplicate with passport picture? With birth certificate attached? Or picture of laughing face? How I am proving I am gay? If I  am to get certificate from neighbourers, they will be happy to give because I am making all laugh at my jokes. Sometimes I am having to catch hand and forcing them to listen to joke because they are too busy. Sometimes I have to repeat joke three times because they are not listening but I don’t mind. Service to humans is service to God.

But about applying for aid... please to enlight how to apply.I am very gay and I am wanting help very very needfully.

Very truly yours,

Happy Horathu
Sadiqa Peerbhoy