Terse, cool... heartless

“How can I put this... forget I exist? “
“Look, I'm turning 16 soon, and I really just need my freedom!”  
“The only thing worse than being alone, is being with you.”

Break-up usually equals heart-break at least for one-half of the couple. Sadly, there is no way around this for the  dumpee, if the dumper is determined to opt out of the relationship.

As the old  Neil Sedaka song from the 60s goes Breaking up is hard to do but how you break up with someone could well determine whether they move on with their lives with their dignity and self-esteem intact or have their egos bruised and expectations dashed beyond repair.

Welcome to the age of the SMS break-up. Terse, cold and to the point. Heartless and cowardly even some might say, but very effective. It certainly saves the relationship breaker a good deal of stress and the awkwardness of dealing with emotional meltdowns and messy waterworks.

“It might be easier, but it's also the coward's way out. It may not be cool in the long run for the jerk who takes the SMS cop out, when the former object of his affection tells all her friends what a creep he is,” says Niska Nanjundayya who feels that using technology to do your dirty work is a definite no no.

Several popular websites even offer choices of possible break up SMSes for the wannabe dumpers to choose from, thus even saving them the emotional discomfort of composing the words in the break-up text.

The ready-to-download, cut, copy, paste messages vary from flippant and humourous to blase and nasty.

 “I personally have nothing against it but think it’s very immature. You owe the person the courtesy of a face to face chat, preferably over a meal. Breaking-up online or even over the phone is kind of mean. You probably didn't start the relationship online or on the telephone so how can you end it that way,” says Karun Sondhi, a student.

Suman Rajan, another student, begs to differ, “Sometimes there is no alternative to an SMS break-up. Like if you know that the other person is going to force you to change your mind or likely to get abusive or cannot be reached for some reason then an SMS break-up is necessary.” 

 “A one-line SMS break-up is way too cold and shows that the person is spineless. It is the easy way out no doubt but not the right way and shows that the person was never really into the relationship to begin with and the other is better off without him or her anyway!” emphasises Akaanshaa Paranjpe. 

 “If your relationship isn't going anywhere, end it with sensitivity and maturity. Don't avoid calls pretending to be busy and just because others are using the SMS break-up route it doesn't mean you should, too. The person may have invested a lot of time, effort and emotion into the relationship. The least that you could do is give them the respect they deserve by breaking-up in person,” says Suma Trivedi, relationship counsellor.