How many shades of love?

ONE OF A KIND

She loves me, she loves me not...” If you’ve ever walked down this predicament, you know that there is nothing more complicated than love, and nothing more life-altering. This Valentine’s Day, don’t let your heart wonder whether a special someone does love thou plenty. Read on to discover how to decipher his/her style of love and may be even, how to reciprocate.

The romantic lover

Mostly found in books and movies, they never seem to be running against timelines. Love for them is never a vanilla affair, but an intense adventure. They will cross the seven seas, risk their lives and do extraordinary stuff in the name of love. In real life, you can find them mostly in college campuses and sometimes even in grown-ups’ romances, expressing their love as if their object of affection is the elixir that will cure them of a chronic illness.

The best way to reciprocate such love is by simply making your time available for them and acknowledging that yes, they have you swept off your feet.

The earnest dearest

For some reason, this one has always played second fiddle to the romantic lover in most movies. Remember, the best friend who always offers their shoulder to cry on in times of crisis? They are sincere, dependable and shun any kind of drama. They love you to death but won’t let their self-esteem depend on whether and how you love them back. Think of that friend who was there for you when your first crush walked all over you. Alternatively, think of your father. Love doesn’t always have to romantic. These are heroes with halos of love!

The best way to show them your love is to sing When you say nothing at all as a dedication.

The reluctant darling

They don’t know whether they are coming or going. Characterised by a sense of urgency, at first they may strike you as some kind of soul connection. When you start getting along like a house on fire, you expect things to get better or at least, stay the same for eternity. While it is best not to judge this type of lover, you don’t want to invest too many eggs in this basket. Because while they make you feel over the moon, they are actually helping themselves get over a dozen issues and more. And once they have their mind sorted, they will be back on the road, leaving you wondering what went wrong.

And no, you really don’t want to spend time telling this type how special they are because they are not ready for it, not yet.The nagging belovedThis is, indeed, the type of love that drives most of us up the wall and almost into the well. Right from the time we are up to the time we have transcended into the world of dreams, they can’t stop telling us how imperfect we are. Think teachers, parents, spouses, mothers-in-law…people who make us wonder if they actually hate us! But often, their stern comments come from the fact that they see us as an extension of themselves, only a better one. Oh well, a rose has its thorns.

To let them know you value their affection, show them a skill that you have mastered. And chances are that they won’t ask for more.

The playful sweetheart

This type abhors the idea of love as a responsibility to be fulfilled. Love for them is a fun song to be hummed along while you go about doing other stuff.

Siblings and best friends, who believe in healthy competition, pillow fights, spilling your secrets but safeguarding your sorrows...they fall in this category.

Increasingly, parents and spouses are also getting inspired by them. So, the next time you feel a special someone is pulling your leg rather than sweeping you off your feet, know that they are just trying to keep up with love trends and play back. And yes, on special occasions, they don’t mind calling it ceasefire and celebrating with candies, flowers and the works.

The obsessive one

For them, love is a compulsive act, almost an offshoot of breathing. While Indian mothers are the official ambassadors for this category, grandparents, elder siblings, indulgent aunts and pet owners are serious competitors. The irony of the situation is that the more they fuss over the apple of their eye, the more indifference and resistance they have to face!

This season of love, look around for those angels who’ve never left your side and make it a point to treat them as people with real emotions, not special love-equipped superheroes; you would have made a successful start.

The charming hero
It is easy to confuse him with the romantic lover. What distinguishes this type is that they are very much in control of their emotions. They are not driven by their heart but by their self pride and need for adulation. Right from neighbourhood Romeos to ageing onscreen megalomaniacs, they do their best to win your love and attention by putting their best foot forward. And if heartbreak histories and box-office numbers are anything to go by, they succeed with much grace.

While they definitely provide an entertaining break from the humdrum of routine, do stay clear of falling head over heels for this type. Because all they want is your attention, not your heart.

Of course, there are many more kinds of love. And Valentine’s Day is not the only day that should be dedicated to love. But it’s always nice to have a special occasion to tell someone how you feel about them, and who knows, you might get to hear something that will make your heart happy!If nothing else, now that you have discovered a bit about the art of decoding the various types of love and lovers, you can go ahead and count the many shades of love.

Famous words

“Friends can help each
other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself — and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to — letting a person be what he really is.”
― Jim Morrison

“True love, like any other strong and addicting drug, is boring — once the tale of
encounter and discovery is told, kisses quickly grow stale and caresses tiresome…except, of course, to those who share the kisses, who give and take the
caresses while every sound and colour of the world seems to deepen and brighten around them. As with any other strong drug, true first love is really only interesting to those who have become its prisoners.
 And, as is true of any other strong and addicting drug, true first love is dangerous.”
― Stephen King

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
― A A Milne
“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“It’s a very dangerous state. You are inclined to recklessness and kind of tune out the rest of your life and everything that’s been important to you. It’s actually not all that pleasurable. I don’t know who the hell wants to get in a situation where you can’t bear an hour without somebody’s company.”
― Colin Firth 

“Love is a serious mental
disease.”
― Plato

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
― Pablo Neruda