Hotel California

Amidst the amazing pace with which various gizmos have entered our lives, the buzz has been that life is going to get increasingly hostile for ‘mechanophobics.’ But for me, this rumour has evolved into a cold fact with what transpired last week. Now I view technology with increased apprehension and cynicism.

Before you assume that I am an antiquated obscurantist, let me assure you that I consider myself, modern. I do not believe in Occult. I am graying but am also green. I also do not choose my clients after checking their names with the numerologist, and astrologer. I just make sure that they are inoffensive and ethical. Yet, after what happened to me last week, I have been wishing that the CERN experiments transport us back a hundred years.

I normally avoid doing work outside my city. But this client convinced me that this job is going to be well worth the trouble. So I boarded the flight in the evening, so that I am fresh for the task at hand the next morning. But as it turned out, the flight was inordinately delayed — for reasons like a traffic jam in the sky. But finally it arrived and I was checked into the high-tech hotel suite. I felt tired and sleepless. The bell hop led me to my high-tech room, pressed a few buttons and made the room even more comfortable. The soft and inviting bed was irresistible and I lapsed into deep slumber. But not for long. There was this pleasant dream of being in a disco hall, swinging and swaying to music. But the temperature that kept dropping like ‘hell freezing over’ in Hotel California, terminated my trance.

The irritation of the aborted siesta not withstanding, my cells were tingling with explosive energy. My circular bed was vibrating and rotating gently, and the theme lighting was changing with the rhythm of the soft music. It was a magic world. I felt like Alice in wonderland. The only hitch was that a wink of sleep was all I was looking for. It took me a while to figure out that I had accidentally touched some buttons on my bedside console, setting off these high-tech activities.

I was in store for more the next evening. As I was enjoying a hot shower in the fairyland bath, I chanced to look towards my bed. What I saw was beyond me. Through the transparent glass wall, I saw a chambermaid diligently making my bed. The realisation that the opaque screen is not a default option, dawned on me much later. But why was the chambermaid there?

“Sir, you had pressed the button on the console saying… ‘Make my bed now’.”