The art of befriending

SWALPA CONNECT MAADI

Just how smashed out is that... But the cool fact is that my kids are not going to go smirk, smirk everytime I claim to be a hip, hep and a chilled out mom.

I've had to make some very minor concessions to my advancing age. Like Friends. What are a few years between friends?. And talking of friends…jeez dude. I am maxxed out by fired up friends.

All friended out and exhausted. I didn’t knowed that there were like huge swathes of humanity out there in the vast, beyond all jumping like jelly beans on speed to befriend me.

Every morning I open my email and want to snucker back in me bed. Dozens of dudes out there proffering their friendship. It’s awesome to be such a popular bird, maccha... I feel good, bigtime.

But what screws me up good is if Facebook is this jammin with bigtime buzz and energy, what are fat balding men with 80 inch beer bellies doing practicing their vintage pick up lines?

I am not dissing Facebook...,but one smashed oldie who is 69 if he is lopping only five years off his belt curve, says plaintively "Wanting  waiting to frending yow… be yow my friend?" Sorry double douchebag, I no be your friend... I am only here to prove points to my kids who think I am an old fuddy duddy with a pathological computer phobia.

 Another  graveyard prospect with dark glasses and persistence says "Saw your photox and felled deepening love. Marriage me now "Sorry Sir, been there...

Then all those thousands who make my inbox look like an election meeting where they are giving out free Bajaj scooters.

I feel like a hot babe  but  what disses me bigtime  is why do fully grown, adults with  gray hair on their chest  still want to play tag?

I am worried about the future of this country. Are we a generation of mental retards tagging one another endlessly? A skin tag I can get surgically removed. But a several hundred Facebook tags demand  several hundred  ditto tags. So do I spend the rest of my rapidly running out life, tagging strangers  so that someday every single living being is tag-related to everyone else in the world?And here I don't even want to own up to half of  my blood relations!.

Just how geeky is that. Facebook then wants me to tell the whole world what I am doing right now.

I am  tempted to  screw it  up bigtime "I was climbing Mount Fujiyama with Brad Pitt when this abominable snowman smashed so here I am hangin in his stomach (Snowman's, not Brad Pitt's) staring at my laptop answering this "

The fact is, you geeky moron, what else could I be doing except  wondering how to get out of fielding cryptic messages "Remember- I am- the- guy -who- put- a-frog-in- your-satchel- at-school "type from people you do not want to  remember or  know.
Or even people who you didn't know and don't want to know . Much less their friends. And their friend's friends. No way machha.