Soulful steps

spiritual quest

Isn’t it a coincidence that a person’s name comes to mean her profession? Narthaki, a reputed Bharatanatyam dancer, lives close to the Madhava Perumal Temple in Mylapore, Chennai. Therefore it is easy to reach the place. I get a warm welcome as I enter the gate. It’s peaceful inside. “The perumal (god) here is very special. He is in a constant state of happiness, ready to bless!” Narthaki tells me as I find my chair. “There is a procession every day. So we have a good vibration here.” I agree with that.

“Would you like to have filter coffee?” interjects Sakthi, her partner, who is also a dancer. She is happy when I say yes. Her coffee is famous among the artistes and visitors who come here. Together they run a dance school called Velliyambalam.

Though not a woman naturally, I see only a woman in Kalaimamani Narthaki Natraj — the well-travelled and scholarly dancer. The Sangeet Natak Academi Puraskar and Kalaimamani award are two of the many prestigious recognitions she has received.

And yes, she celebrates her womanhood by dressing up well, wearing beautiful saris and jewellery; something she could not afford once upon a time. Because nothing has been easy in her life before. She has had to face a society that rejected and ridiculed her. “I knew right from the beginning that I was different. I was born with a silver spoon, in Madurai, where even the Nataraja in the temple is different, and so is Meenakshi, who is more manly! And both Sakthi and I belong to forward communities. Yet our uniqueness was not accepted. What I knew for sure was that I wanted to dance.”

Learning curve

So, Narthaki was determined to prove herself as a dancer. “I grew up watching Vyjayanthimala, my favourite, and other dancers of that time. I realised I wanted to dance like them. I just wanted to achieve something,” she remembers.

Narthaki found her guru in Kittappa Pillai, the direct descendant of the legendary Vadivelu of Thanjavur quartet, “who composed dances for Swathi Thirunal.” Pillai accepted her because “he understood that I was the right person to propagate and preserve the art in his style. “I learnt everything related to the classical form without letting my family know. And, during the 15 years of my practice under his tutelage, I didn’t think much about fame. I was interested only in dance and research.”

“My arangetram (debut on-stage performance of a classical art student) was in Chidambaram temple,” she recalls fondly and adds, “ Due to the education I got from him, I also taught in Tamizh University, Thanjavur, based on merit, as an assistant professor.” Well, Narthaki is in a happier space. “The Government of India has announced a senior fellowship. I am really happy to get it, ” she says, and explains that “the Nayaki bhava is my speciality — it combines natya and literature. The fellowship is for that. Everything is happening according to God’s plans.”

Although she has given me her website that details her life and subject of speciality, I am keen for her version of the story. So I ask her about what strikes me as most interesting — the philosophy of Jeevatma and Paramatma she finds in dance, and her journey of realisation.

Special bond

Narthaki begins, “This is a punya bhoomi. We have had Meera, Andal, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa — saints who were born as humans and then reached God. Which means all the creatures in this world are born with senses that can be awakened to a higher state. Therefore, anyone can have a state of supreme realisation. Also, he can be seen in any relationship — in lovers, in friendship, in mother. That is the link to reach God, I think.”

About her spiritual realisation, she comments, “I am madly in love with God. When I sought the answer to ‘Who Am I?’ outside, I only found humiliation. But I wanted to see God. Then I heard the udukku sound, the lub-dub, the conch, the breathing — the kundalini experience. That was Shivam within me. Then all the differences vanished... sarvam ekamayam.”

Narthaki recalls asking an audience the same question once, outside India, but through her dance. “When I repeatedly asked them about their identity as I danced, they were in tears. We look for God outside. But where is he?” She presents Krishna’s story of love and bhakti, which she believes are the same. “In dance, all emotions are human.”

It’s natural for the dancer now to be unmindful of the audience and to cherish the space. “Someone asked me if I take anything from outside to get intoxicated. Dance has that effect on me. I love the ecstasy of it,” she exclaims. And societal boundaries have become insignificant to her. “I am happy with myself in my spiritual enquiry. I first danced for survival, then for preservation, but I dance for peace now,” she asserts.

A Bharatanatyam exponent, winner of many awards known for her knowledge in Thanjavur quartet, especially the Nayaki bhava in the sampradaya, does she think the society has accepted her now? “No. The rejection stays. In the world of dance, however, I am recognised as yet another artiste. Nobody sees me differently.”

Narthaki is growing popular as a literary figure. “I am a student of life. I consider everything that came my way as gifts,  and my experience has taught me that hard work pays. I have rasikas all over the world,” she laughs. But back home, her strength comes from Shakti, the more practical of the two. “I’m fortunate to have her support. We have been together since our childhood. She has sacrificed a lot for me. We are happy. We sleep like children, we cook, we go out, we dance, we enjoy dressing up. We are always true to each other.”

For young learners of the dance form, she has this to say: “Give it your best. Work hard. Dedicate yourself to reach the goal.”