The call for change

Oasis

Here is an amusing but cautionary tale that many will identify with because what it describes takes place often enough. A man, keen to give up smoking, saw an advertisement that promised the applicant instant cures for many habits. The request had to be accompanied by a nominal charge, which the man complied with willingly. Soon he received an envelope which he eagerly opened. It contained a small card on which were the words:

1. ‘Don’t buy any cigarettes.2. Don’t borrow any from a friend.’ Should the man have asked for his money back? Perhaps, but this could well turn out to be a futile task. The incident however is a definite eye-opener. It conveys clearly that when we want change, we must be prepared to take action and also face the consequences that this will inevitably bring.

First of all, this means that we need to examine ourselves and understand in which areas of our lives we need to make changes. This will entail looking closely, as it were, into a mental mirror, identifying and not glossing over flaws. This alone will make the resolve to change truly firm and prevent one from using half-measures that takes one nowhere.

The next step is to decide whether the change should be drastic or incremental. This depends on one’s personality. In other words, it means asking oneself whether one has the necessary will to make a complete break or whether the regime has to be a slower, gentler one. For instance, if one is in the habit of angry outbursts, it is not easy to break it all at once. Here it is not just behaviour, but one’s inner nature that needs to be altered.

We also need to give thought to a hidden obstacle. It is the refusal to take responsibility for our own actions. We might say that we want change, but are we really prepared to face the challenge?

The easy way out is to blame others, but when we criticize and find fault with others, we often avoid some truth about ourselves. Gandhiji remarked that when one is pointing a finger at others, three are pointing at our own self, adding what he practised all his life, ‘Be the change you want to see.’