Parenting lessons from the next generation

Children should be seen and not heard. We have heard this especially if we were born before the eighties.  However, Gen Z makes sure that they are not just seen, but heard too.  They can give you advice on how to live, and they do it honestly, whatever their ages are.  

In this day and age, when technology is changing the way we think, work, and spend our leisure time, we have to remember that our children and grandchildren are many steps ahead of us in their thoughts and in the way they see the world.  

When we returned from work, at 7 pm, our son, who was then 13 years, opened the door. Back from school around 4 p.m., he was in his school uniform, and from the corner of my eye, I could see socks and shoes strewn in the living room, the school bag on the sofa,  a dirty plate on the table, and I could hear the audio of a game on the computer.  

My immediate reaction: “Have you finished your homework? You have not had your bath! Have you eaten?” And many other questions shot out at him.  Andrew was unruffled, and what he told me in a calm voice, still echoes: “Mum, we have not seen each other from 6.30 a.m. (that’s the time he left to catch the school bus).  It is 13 hours. Can you wait to ask me all those details after you come inside?”  That was a big blow to my parenting skills, one that has stayed in my memory for the last 15 years, consciously making sure that I don’t let out steam with family or domestic help at the doorstep. 

This incident brought back pearls of wisdom given to us 33 years ago by the preacher at our wedding service.  The late Rev. Arthur Keskar made a very pertinent point, among several other, in his own charismatic way of advising, not preaching.  “When your spouse returns from work, don’t give her/him the news that there is no milk for tea as the cat drank the milk, the dinner is burnt, the washing machine has conked out, etc. Allow your spouse to sit down, and gradually break all the not-so-exciting news.” Words of advice that sound impractical at times, especially when you have been alone at home all day.

Our adult daughter Elizabeth is unabashed to tell us that my husband and I need to spend quality time by going on holidays, or for lunch or how we should take care of our health and fitness. Wow! Sometimes, I wonder, who is the parent.  To quote Angela Schwindt, a homeschooling mother in Oregon: “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”