The art of ‘smart’ parenting

Parenting is a complex art. Ironically the complexities are understood only after several years of bungling at it. And after so many years you are left with not much scope to make amends, even if you want to. Unless you are blessed with at least two children which for many parents is a luxury these days, considering the costs involved in raising them.

One particular dilemma that most parents have to grapple with is whether they should raise their kids smart or responsible. Are they really mutually exclusive? Can’t one be smart as well as responsible? Perhaps that’s the wish every parent has but in practice most parents prefer to sacrifice responsibility for smartness.

And many a time what overrides responsibility is the idea of instant and quick success to fame, to money and to life itself. Sadly, today, no one wants to let things happen naturally. There is no time or patience. A warped sense of smartness has conquered our ethical sense as well as our other finer sensibilities.

For instance, a two-year-old child talking and behaving like an adult is both admired and applauded! A five-year-old kid dancing sensually to the tune of an erotic Bollywood number is branded a superstar! The list of such child prodigies doing adult-like stuff and getting quick recognition and providing instant gratification to their parents is getting bigger by the day.

In our haste to make our children overnight heroes, we fail to understand that we are actually stunting our children’s natural evolution.

Recently I was amused to see my friend teaching his 12-year-old son to drive an SUV. The puny little boy couldn’t even sit straight in the seat and my heart was beating faster every time he struggled to touch the gas pedal. The boy’s anxiety worsened and reached its nadir as he attempted to shift gear and release the clutch to move that huge monster forward.

My question to the boy’s father questioning his hurry seemed stupid. He simply shrugged and said, “You never know when it’ll come handy . . . and kids are smart these days, you know.” I wasn’t sure if I should even oppose his skewed sense of smartness.

However, I was sure about this. These ‘smart’ kids, once they get the hang of it will be waiting to do things on the sly even before they are legally permitted to sit at the wheel. When that opportunity comes their way they are sure to grab it. And that day, it will be a litmus test not just for the ‘smart’ kids but for those innocent people on the road, too.