Well beyond the goalpost but lost inside the lines

"It's been 105 days to be exact," Mohammad Asrar Rebhar says.The footballer from Kashmir has just finished leading FC Bengaluru United to their third win in four games in the BDFA Super Division. He had scored the lone goal against Income Tax to take his personal tally to four goals in three games on Monday.A captain's performance.At 21, Asrar still remains under the bracket of young player. But his experience - being in the Real Kashmir team that won promotion to the I-League, life in Kashmir and even a stint in Spain with third division side Sociedad Deportiva Lenense Proinastur - is beyond the numbers.Playing in a state with just two professional clubs, Asrar used to dodge curfew barriers and sneak his way to training. Uncertainty being a big part, the numbers who trained up varied between 20 to eight on a day-to-day basis. Even maintaining general fitness levels needed for a footballer, he says, is tough.Nevertheless, his fortitude saw him play Santosh Trophy, Durand Cup with Real Kashmir and even a short stint with the AIFF Elite Academy. Having landed in Bengaluru four days before the crackdown that sent India's northern most state into radio silence, cut off from the rest of the world, and a political discussion back, it's been a hard few months for the footballer."The crackdown... now there is a bit of communication but in the first 40 days... it was very difficult," he says.Unaware of the impending turmoil, the young attacker had jumped at head coach Richard Hood's call to join the budding project in Bengaluru. The dream has always been to done the national colours. The aim now, is to win the Second Division League. But this time, be the main man. While his performances on the field so far have been smooth, off it, it's hardly been the same."I used to talk to my parents for a minute every 10 days and they used to go to the airport to call me. They had to stay in line for like an hour to speak to me for a minute. Now postpaid phones are on so I can speak," he says. On Eid, when Hood gave him a day off, he spent the festival with his friend from Kashmir, in Chennai. He couldn’t go home, he knew, and the allure of speaking to someone who he knew could reciprocate his feelings, was too good to turn down."My parents used to tell me: 'If we don't talk to you for a month, then don't care about us. We are all okay here. You be safe.'"It's not easy when your parents are telling you to not care about them. I used to cry because everyday you read this and that in the newspapers."The internet is still down so his parents are unable to see his goals or read about his performances even now. They would be proud, he believes. Now as the cloud are slowly lifting over his home state, he's looking forward."The coaches and players, I can't thank them enough. They stood by me when I was at my worst and now I have to repay their faith," he says.So far, he's held up his end.