Be sassy not a sissy

Be sassy not a sissy

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at sexisaheli@deccanherald.co.in.

Hello Saheli,
I have a sibling. She is a clever student who scores 90+. I am just an average kid. I can’t study like her 24/7. Because of this, my dad discriminates. No matter what she does, he will always blame me. I have spoken about this to him yet he says that he is always right. Why can’t he understand that everyone has different abilities? I am just bugged-up. Help!
Pallavi

Hi Pallavi,
Your sister seems to be the blister in your life. But do an honest analysis and you’ll realise it’s not her fault. Can’t you be her buddy and avert this crysis? She can study, you can play and when your dad sees that you both are good friends, he may stop taking sides. It could be the genesis of something beautiful. If that’s not possible, wait. Don’t lose your confidence. One day, the world will see your true value and so will they. Be sassy not a sissy!

Dear Saheli,
I am in a relationship for three years. I make many mistakes like accepting friend requests from those who proposed to me in the past and not giving my boyfriend time but giving my friends too much time. He explains everything to me every time but I still make the same mistakes. In anger, he calls me and my family bad words in Hindi and that hurts a lot. We love each other but sometimes I feel like getting out of this relationship. How do I make him understand that disrespecting women is not good?
Shreya

Dear Shreya,
The only way to teach him to respect women is to leave him. Is he bullying you? Like they say, you don’t leave a bad relationship because you stop caring about the other person; you leave it because you start caring about yourself. Nobody has the right to call you or your family names, no matter how many ‘mistakes’ you make. Get smart and recognise that if he doesn’t stop giving you gaali, the only mistake in this relationship is him.

Hello there,
I am a 28-year- old working professional. I do not know how to start a relationship. I want to date but I don’t have the courage to approach anyone. I always get nervous when speaking to a female. I had a very bad past in my relationship and though I’m out of it, I always get some flashbacks which makes me nervous to speak to girls. I am afraid I might remain unmarried and alone because of this. Any solution?
Mr Do-Not-Publish-My-Name

Hi There,
Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair. You seem to be stuck in the forever stage … but don’t you trust yourself? Trust that once you’ve survived a heartbreak you will survive again? Face your fear. Take it out for a coffee. Then, take it out again. Slowly but surely, you’ll move from fearful to fearless. When you approach a girl, be honest, tell her you are scared. She may be too. Then you two scaredy cats can get on the boat and sail towards happiness. If that’s not working, try therapy. Remember, everything you want is on the other side of fear.