Stop living in the past

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at [e-mail].

Hi Saheli,
In 2016, I met a girl at work. Within 2 months we fell in love. The next 2-3 months were good but after that, she left the job and started doing her Master’s degree. Soon after, she began to hate me, she argued, blocked my number. I kept calling her but no response. I kept quiet. Two months later, she contacted me. Again, after some time, she blocked my number, didn’t answer emails. She also changed her number. It’s been five years now and I still think of her deeply. Should I continue to wait or should I move on?
Teddy

Hi Teddy
Two words for you — move on. Even the Indian government doesn’t wait five years for policy implementation, then why should you? Date other people, forget her. Letting go means realising that some people are a part of your history but not a part of your destiny. As the song goes, ‘move it, move it’.

Hey Sexi Saheli,
I’m in a relationship with a guy for the past 2 years. He is sweet, trustworthy, loving and everything anyone wants in their relationship but he does one thing which hurts me. Before him, I had a toxic relationship and I told my present guy about it. Now, my boyfriend keeps asking about my past, uncomfortable questions, which is hurting me a lot. How do I deal with this?
Change-my-name-please

Hey Change-my-name-please,
Be frank with your boyfriend. Tell him clearly that answering questions about the past is making you uncomfortable and you’ll speak about it only when you are ready to do so. You’re not obliged to tell him everything. Hopefully, him digging up your past won’t make him the past.