Learning to be alone

If there is one harsh lesson that the pandemic has taught us, then it is that we find ourselves terribly alone at times with no one but ourselves and perhaps a cell phone for company. It could be the case of someone who is in home isolation in a room at home or at a designated centre or a loved one needing specialised, critical care in an ICU in a hospital— or a family caregiver waiting in a lounge or outside a care centre for updates. The loneliness can be scary, traumatic and killing, if one is not used to it and does not know how to deal with it. Eventually of course, frontline heroes such as doctors, nurses, paramedics, volunteers and other service providers become friends (God bless them) whom a patient and their kin look forward to. And bonds are forged with fellow patients and their families, who pitch in to lend support in innumerable and important ways. As the saying goes a friend is a stranger one has never met.

Conversely there were family members who live overseas dealing with the trauma and pain of loneliness of a different kind— of not being able to be with their loved ones in their hour of greatest need.

Even when one is well and fine, one can find oneself in a room full of people and still feel very alone and isolated. So ultimately it is not about having people around, it is about having those with whom you feel safe or share a bond with, vibe with, can connect to or feel a sense of closeness or camaraderie.

I remember hearing young children being asked to bring a favorite toy to school to help them settle in, during the first few days. The familiar and well-worn toys becomes a source of comfort, security and reassurance. Familiarity certainly breeds positive feelings and helps remove fear.

If travelling to a new place or a foreign land or even to a hospital, adults bring along a family picture or one of their favorite deity or a prayer book. There is a presence we can sense through these objects that makes us feel that we are protected and cared for.

One can draw huge reserves of strength from knowing that God is all around us and with Him for company we are never alone

As almost all scriptures tell us “Why fear when I am here?” That is a thought that can allay a lot of nervous energy.